It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
