yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
