He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
