He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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