Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
