So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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