is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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