Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Randomize
