It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
