doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
