Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
