how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
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Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
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But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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