so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just pee around me
Woke up backwards on a recliner
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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