i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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