In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
