this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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