His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
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