Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
