First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
