Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
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Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
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You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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