i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We have started to decorate penises.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
