And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize