no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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