I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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