I can tuck mytits in my pants
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
