too bad you live with your parents still
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
