There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
