I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
