I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
