Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
