Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
