Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
