There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
