My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize