I'm drive I can fine osifer
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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