He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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