So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
3 2 1 whiskey
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
