I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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