I think I just saw someone hide a body.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.