Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize