i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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