Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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