how can u be prego again
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
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Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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