I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
