I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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