I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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