How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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