no, he came in my armpit
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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