She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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