I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
