why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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