I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
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Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
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Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize