idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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