Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
