It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
