...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
